I had a dream

I remember that night as clearly as it had been yesterday. Not many days had yet passed since the accident and all these question marks still rotated inside my head. I just could not grasp reality and understand the fact that I had lost a close friend, one of my comrades in arms, a person in my closest periphery. I studied this piece of broken glass I held in my hands, but no matter which way I turned it, the whole picture was beyond my reach. My eyes were washed over and over again, until they finally ran dry.

That night was no different from all the others before, my body was exhausted from the physical agony, but my mind was restless and sleep was an impossibility. My mind was wandering along the distant shores of unknown territory, thinking about how things would have been, how things should have been for us, for him, for all the people around him. Darkness fell at last, and things became blurry.

In the middle of the fogginess, a striking light appeared which approached me slowly but surely. The brightness filled up my entire bedroom and reached into my heart, my very core. At once, the raging storm inside me instantaneously ceased in its motion. A glimmering hand reached out from the light and gently caressed my cheek. Never had I felt such a soothing feeling. Never did I realize how huge the need was, to be understood and to be consoled.

My mind wanted to reach out for him, to hold him in my arms once again. There was no doubt who this was that stood in front of me. But my body did not obey me, and I was paralysed. His face emerged from the light and smiled at me. His lips were not moving, but I understood:

"Please don't cry, my friend. Don't be sad. It is ok. In times of despair just remember to look up. I will be your Polaris amidst the chaos of the starry sky. Remember."

The brightness slowly faded away. I tried desperately to hold on to him, but in vain. He paced away towards the beautiful shores of Neverland, toward eternity. Forever young.

Yiruma - River flows in you