The Voice of Steve

Nil desperandum - Never despair. A medical student's journey in Odense

In the Shadows

I was back again, under the roof of Pedro, abiding his orders and the way of living that he approved. My usual proud posture was once again crooked, my fists were tightly clenched together, while my eyes focused on the dust on the floor. Every step I made was followed by his eyes, knowing that he could fly into a rage without a reasonable reason at any minute. Predictability was nothing that worked in my favour in that house, he was simply unpredictable.

Every second, every minute was a game on a balance scale, aware of the risk that it might tip over to either side. Would I be able to avoid his tearing roar for a day, or be forced to stand in front of this pathetic person that I had pity for, yet fearing his heedless actions?

The night was falling, I thought that I could breath out. Every day without confrontations was a day worth remembering. At that moment when I had lowered my guard just a little, he suddenly opened his mouth: "Are you still going to visit that person in York?" All surprised by the sudden approach, I shivered and took a deep breath: "Yes sir, I am."

I could see the side of his mouth starting to twitch. He was trying to control his temper. "Why?" he snorted. This was it, I knew what I was about to give him a reason to rebuke me, but it had to be done. This was my chance to be able to step away from under his shadow, to gain myself again. "Because I want to." I said with a low trembling voice. He abruptly turned away from what he was doing and faced me with his rage-stricken face. If eyes could kill, I would have been dead ten times over already.

The silence a minute ago was suddenly replaced by the thunderstorm. Things were flying across the room, words cut like razor-sharp projectiles through every part of my body, and fear flared up inside me. The walls were shaken down to their very foundations. But I had to stand still and meet this rage with my head held up high. I had to endure this final challenge in order to have a chance of a new beginning. I simply had to gather that amount of courage that I still had inside me, which he had not yet plucked away.

In slow motion, I saw him approaching me with his right hand raised above head level. I knew it was coming, but I was not going to move. This was inevitable and necessary. The first blow hit my left cheek. The pain, the humiliation, the unfairness, were all so immense. The second, the third blow fell. My body was numbed. Something warm started to run down my forehead, it trickled down my face to the floor. It did not taste salty as sweat does, it was something more rusty. A fourth, a fifth... I lost track of time and space.

I closed my eyes. My head felt suddenly so heavy. I felt so tired. The need to lay down was so strong. The moment I was giving in to the physical exhaustion, I fell to the ground with a thud. I felt nothing. The pool on the floor had grown, but that was of no importance anymore. I closed my eyes for the last time.

4 COMMENT(S):

Det gick ju inte så bra för vår hjälte! Vad är det för underdog story? :(

 

Jag hoppades så mycket på slutet!! Ett slut som skulle knäcka Ondskans. Som skulle lugna hjärtat..

 

*raises eyebrow* interesting brother. I see you've turned some things into inspiration. :)

 

Jag vaknade upp i morse och storyn poppade upp i huvudet på mig. (Eller ja, jag fick den i drömmen..) Skrev därför ihop den lite slarvigt utan att korrekturläsa, innan jag stack till föreläsningen.. :-P Nu är den lite mer "slät i kanterna", vill jag påstå.

Vi får se om vår underdog kommer tillbaka... to be continued